I stood beside a ledge below the Viridian Gym, it had taken me all night to run here. Okay, maybe not all night as I passed out in a patch of grass and ended up sleeping there for most of the night. It only took about 2 minutes of running to get here. Actually, it sounds cooler if it takes all night, please ignore this sentence and the previous one.
I attempted to hop the ledge, but it was useless. I swear, the world is filled with these INTENSE invisible walls. AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO HEARS THE MUSIC? Speaking of that I really want to go back and listen to the music in Route 1, it was so nice. Oh wait, I'm here to kill Cyan. Wait, am I trying to kill him or is it just friendly competition? I do not remember which it is, so if I get a chance to off him I guess I'll take it.
This place is seeping with power. There were several trainers situated around the Gym that looked like they could kick my ass if they looked at me funny (because if they look at me funny that means I have to battle them, which will end in my ass being kicked). If Cyan is the leader of this Gym, then he must be more powerful than these guys! No wonder he was able to conquer Kanto so easily! I managed to sneak around the trainers by throwing the rocks I had from the Safari Zone to make them fight amongst themselves and around the puzzle by hopping over the tiles that shoot you in all sorts of directions!
I turned the corner and it appeared I had made it to the end of the Gym, as Cyan was sitting back eating an entire cake and the air of ultimate power disappeared (Trying to hide your power level from me, sneaky sneaky). Man it must rock to be a Gym Leader. You get underlings who you can get you cakes and then you can put your sexy chin and their face and yell “Hail to the king, Baby!”. I gotta highjack a Gym one day.
I challenged Cyan to a fight and he laughed, declaring, “That we must have a MAN'S battle! Only one pokemon! Also loser has to leave the Gym naked.”. I accepted, although was a bit afraid as to who would get in trouble if Cyan got naked. You know, child pornography laws and all.
Cyan threw his pokeball and out came a “Wang Chung”, I think he nicknamed it “Hitmonlee” or something stupid like that. Well if I can only use one, I'm going with my wingman! Go Koff Koff!
…
Out came “Shitty Duck”. Crap. I have too many pokeballs! Maybe this is why you are only supposed to have 6 pokemon? After this battle I will have to write their names on their balls. Well I've come too far to give up now! “Shitty Duck” do your stuff! The Wang Chung kicked “Shitty Duck” and it died.. or fainted, its really hard to tell sometimes. I guess that means I lose.
I threw all my clothes off (flinging my underwear in Cyan's face of course) and did a cock strut out of the Gym (It's funny because I was naked). So here I am, completely nude (with the exception of my backpack and belt with my pokeballs on it) in Viridian City. I guess I'll sit here for a while then go back to Oak's lab.
Catch You Later.
Purple Gitimall
P.S.: I guess I should pop back in the Gym and grab my clothes... naw I'll do it later.
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