WARNING THIS TIME-STREAM HAS LOCKED

I was able to get this message through before the Time-Stream sealed off completely (I'll explain in further detail later), Arceus knows whenever it will actually post, but I, no, we need you to know that the blog has moved. Due to the Prank of Celebi, we are no longer able to post here. If you wish to see the continuing stories of Pokeblog Adventure, you will need to check out the new blog by clicking here.

Speed on everybody, as you can see THE WIT OF PURPLE (TIME-LOCK PART 2) over at the new blog now!

THE PRANK OF CELEBI (TIME-LOCK)

Still in hiding after his misadventures in Azalea Town, Purple Gitimall stumbles upon a medium sized shrine dedicated to the Guardian Deity of Ilex Forest. He looks upon it, not understanding the meaning of such an object of course, and scratches his chiny-chin-chin.

“I suppose I could hide in here, it's better than trying to hide behind that stupid Farfetch'd (it keeps running away whenever I get close!)...” he spoke aloud and thought to himself.

This boy is a strange one, I am sure we all can agree, but that fact withstanding he has achieved many things that people with a head full of sanity could never even dream of. Why is he as capable as he is? Why, even I do not know the answer to that! I'm sorry, I've rambled on for far too long, let me finish regaling you with the story.
Ignoring the signs asking for prayers and offerings for the forest (and even a warning or two!), Purple climbed into the shrine, closing the hatch behind him. He thought himself safe from the Jennys, and for once, he was correct. No Jenny, Joy, nor angry Gym Leader would ever think to look inside the Shrine of Celebi as they had heard the story of the Wrath of Celebi. Of course Purple, who loves Johto culture (even if he doesn't understand how to respect it) had heard this story too, but I'm sure it is not a surprise to anyone that Purple either didn't remember or doesn't understand how to apply things he knows into his everyday life.
What's the Wrath of Celebi you ask? Well, it's less wrath-like and more of a prank, straight out of the pages of the book of Whimiscott the Prankster God. It probably should be referred to as the Prank of Celebi (and for convenience, we will). Upon closing himself inside the shrine, which is a fixed moment in time, Celebi has locked the door to the shrine, leaving Purple locked outside of time itself. This would be a death sentence, were it not for Celebi's fun loving nature (Jolly, perhaps?).

Purple Gitimall, the “Pokemon Trainer Victorious”, must figure out how to open the shrine door from the inside. Call a friend, you say? That's the fun part, the time stream has been split. Time as you know it will go on, but the world of Purple Gitimall has halted. Sure, there is a time stream where Pokeblog Adventures marches on, but it marches on without Purple. Will Purple be able to break the Time-Lock, the Prank of Celebi? Find out next time on Pokeblog Adventures!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Gent Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 35: Brother, My Brother

I’m scared to let Umbreon and Espeon out of their pokéballs.  I tried just letting Espeon out, but then I felt really bad about not having Umbreon there, so I sent him out as well.  When that didn’t go so well, I just sent Umbreon out, but then I felt like sending Espeon out just to see the fighting continue.  It never stops!

So now I’ve got their two pokéballs sitting on the bed while I stare at them from my chair.  Apparently sensing that they’re close to each other, those two are rocking around like madmen.  I suppose I could just lock them away in a PC, but that’s far too much like giving up.  I’m a living manifesto for doing the right thing (or at least I try to be), so giving up on my poor pokémon like that is just cruel. 

But this fighting!  Just because one is pure good and one pure evil, does that necessarily make one better than the other?  Without goodness in the world, things would descend into chaos, and yet without evil there would be no standard for good to exist.  I think both need to act as balancing forces for the other.

There must be a way, I cannot quit.  Just, tell me, what are we fighting for?  We got to end this war.  We should love one another, so can’t we just pretend this war never began?  We face each other from different sides, the anger burns, but we can’t remember why.  It’s crazy to face this pain, our foolish pride makes us hate this way.  Tell me why…

I’m having a severe déjà vu attack,
Gent Trainer Andrew ♂

Purple, Johto Day 35: The Tale Of How I Defeated The Bug Master

Azalea Gym, the bug specialist gym. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh god, I'm going to kick everyone's ass here, no prob. What the hell is this spider thing? This wasn't here in the Johto's Visitors Guide I read everynight before bed... Well I better give it a shot-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

IT'S TAKING ME AROUND THE ROOM. I DO NOT LIKE THIS. DO NOT LIKE AT ALL.

Sorry you had to see hear read that, it was very traumatizing for me. Well I think I understand how this spider-cart thing works now so I'll give it another shot-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I STILL DO NOT LIKE THIS.

Man, I threw up my lunch. I don't have enough money to get new food, so I suppose my only option is to eat it again. It was so much effort to eat that a first time and now I have to do it again! Life is hard for me.

“Oh Celebi man, have some decency! Please stop eating your puke! Oh come on, I am not allowed to move from this spot on my honor as a Gym Leader! I WANT TO LOOK AWAY BUT I CANNOT!”
Upon looking up I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen (aside from those Gardevoirs, meow (that's actually very creepy, I retract that statement)), and instantly recognized who she was; She was Bugsy, the Azalea Gym Leader!

“I love you Pretty Lady Girl, may I perform sex upon you?” I asked while putting on the smoulder.

“Dude, I have a penis like you. I don't swing that way. Are we going to battle or not?” replied Bugsy, trying to be hard to get.

Ohohohoho, I see what's going on, she is one of Johto's coveted Girls who have Penises. If I want to perform the sex, I must prove my dominance in a Pokemon Match! Truly, the mating rituals of Johto are amazing.

I sent out Pearl the Sunflora and ordered her to start charging a Solarbeam, so I could defeat her entire team in a single attack. As it turns out, things do not work that way because her Scyther X-Scissor'd Pearl to death. Or fainting. Like I've said before, they're quite similar.

I reached for my belt and sent out Giggles the Quagsire. After I murdered King Steven Bradley, I figured I would need a new water Pokemon and Giggles seemed pretty happy about joining my team. I have high hope for Giggles!

Fun fact: Giggles typing (Water/Ground) makes him immune to electric attacks! But in return, he has a 4 times weakness to Grass. It turns out, Bugsy knows how typing works as she had Scyther trip Giggles, and with the Gym floor being covered in grass, Giggles was defeated instantly.

I would not take this! Pearls and Giggles are beautiful Pokemon from the Land of the Rising Solrock! THE GREATEST REGION EVER CREATED! I will not allow my lust for this girl (who needs to stop claiming to be male, it's a giant turn off) to distract me from kicking her ass! It's time to enact the plan!

Sending out Koff Koff, I issued the command:

“Koff Koff use Autotomize!”

“Hold up dude”, said Bugsy, “that is a Steel move, intended for Steel type Pokemon and a few select others. I don't think Weezing can learn it. Plus, that move makes a Pokemon shed useless parts of it's body! What useless part is there on a Weezing?”

“Uhhhhhhhhh.”
Despite this, Koff Koff followed the command. He struggled with all of his might and with a mighty plop, his second head fell off.

“Congratulations, dumbass. Your KOFF KOFF unevolved into KOFFING!” chuckled Bugsy.

I was so mad. Not at Koff Koff, it wasn't his fault. At this Bugsy girl. She had put me through much pain and agner that I couldn't take it anymore. I flipped in the air, landing in a handstand position and released a Hyperbeam from my mouth and a Bubblebeam from my butt that supplemented the power of the Hyperbeam (by popping on contact the energy from the beam) which destroyed her Scyther in one hit. Bugsy was at a loss to comprehend what had just happened, but I was able to snap her back to reality by unzipping my pants and speaking the following:

“Ha! I have brought down your Scyther! Send out your next Pokemon!”

“Naw man, the rest of my Pokemon suck. Just take the Hive Badge and get out.”

And then I deflowered Bugsy. Sex is different than what I thought it was, alot more biting (on Bugsy's part (it's like she didn't want to have it!) and crying (on both of our parts, I just loved her so much!). I think I'll avoid it from now on.

Catch You Later!

Purple Gitimall, Pokemon Trainer Vitorious

P.S: If anybody needs me, I am hiding out in Ilex Forest. For some reason the Jennys are mad at me. They said something about “Sexual Assualt' charges. People have sex with Girls with Penises all the time after beating them in a Pokemon Battle in Anime! These Jennys are sooooo Kanto.

Gent Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 34: War for Peace

Snapped out of my general malaise.  Realized it was Espeon and Umbreon who have been causing my emotional swings.  Upon reflection this was actually painfully obvious.

And now they’re in this massive, horrible battle to the death!  It’s a violent, evil scene, and I can barely stand here with Lickitung and do nothing while they battle.  This is just too much to deal with!  Each side battles for their noble truth.  An all-powerful force against an unmovable object.  It’s a cataclysmic scene of massive proportions which will decide not only the fate of my own soul, but perhaps the very course of existence! 

Good and evil, light and dark, black and white, who will be the victor?  Which side will emerge from the broken heap of bodies and crushed dreams!?

Though, kind of taking some heat out of the battle, it turns out that these two have some sort of psychic or spiritual connection which ties them together.  As such, when one strikes a blow against the other, they feel it themselves.  Really it kind of comes down to them standing there Quick Attacking each other and then resting for a few minutes before the other gathers up enough power to attack.  But I’ve been feeling dramatic.

In any case, I must stop them from doing this before one of them gets hurt.  Even though Umbreon might be the incarnation of pure evil, he’s still my pokémon.  And even though Espeon made me lose a lot of money so that I didn’t get a dinner last night (yeah, I guess it did go to a worthy cause), she too is my pokémon. 

I am a pokémon Trainer dammit, and so it’s my job to take care of MY pokémon! 

Just realized I could put them back in their balls, so I did that.  Problem solved.

For now.

So now what do I do?
Gent Trainer Andrew ♂

Gent Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 33: The Emptiness

I didn’t do anything special yesterday, so I thought I might as well not bother with a post. 

Both Espeon and Umbreon are with me today, and everything has just been… if the color gray were a feeling, I would be that.  I’ve no real inclinations toward anything.  Once the idea comes up to do something I can’t decide if I should do it or not.

Work was no more boring than interesting.  The kids that come to me may or may not be open to learning things.  It all depends.

I’m not sure why this is a more worthy post than me putting up nothing.  Actually, all my posts probably aren’t that interesting.  Or they might be, people read them.  Eh, whatever.

I really want vanilla ice cream.  Does anybody really want vanilla ice cream?  That has been my only craving all day.

Espeon and Embreon have started fighting.  I hope one wins.  Or they could both lose.  Either way something happens.

That’s all I have,                                                          
 Gent Trainer Andrew ♂

Purple, Johto Day 31: The Tale Of How I Became Pokemon Trainer Victorious

Thanks to a suggestion from Anon Y. Mous, I found a way to regain my honor! He/she suggested I walk to the opposite end of the cave and back! People of the internet are so smart! I wanted to make sure I got my honor back in full, so I spent the last 2 days making my back and forth through Union Cave. I have seen so many Zubats.

SO. MANY. MOTHERFUCKING. ZUBATS.

So yeah, honor restored, Pokemon Trainer Victorious, everything is good again.

I now stand on the grassy knoll right beside Azalea Town, and the entirety of the town is within my sight. The Pokecenter, the Pokemart, the Pokegym, the Pokeball Maker, all of these beautiful buildings made for humans like me. Yup. All of those things are nice and all, but I am not interested in them at the moment. This is what I am interested in! Slowpoke Well. So majestic, with all of its... majesty.

My bag started to wiggle and waggle and out popped Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley.

“I say oldboy, were you trying to keep me away from this artifact of my people's oppression? Whether this to be an attempt to protect my psyche or to limit the dabbling I am able to do to bring about the betterment of my people's social status through revolution, either way, I will require a fortnight within this dwelling. I know we've had our differences in the past, but would you please join me in a moment of remembrance?” said the stupid fucking Slowkingbro (for those of you who do not remember, two Shellders bit my Slowpoke's head and tail at the same time, creating this abomination).

I stood beside Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley, he had his eyes closed and bowed his head as he offered his thoughts to the Slowpokes below.

There was a rumbling. A not so far off rumbling. It got louder, and closer until...

A horde of Slowpokes burst through the trees behind us and formed the ultimate stampede. Hundreds and hundreds of Slowpokes were rushing at Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley and I at an alarmingly fast speed (for Slowpokes anyway).

In reaction to the Slowpede, I grabbed Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley and hurdled ourselves out of the way. Granted, it was very easy to avoid, and I'm sure if we had briskly walked, we could have been around them without too much effort on our part, but what was done was done.

“You.. you saved me. You know, I thought you were nothing but a low class neer-do-well who viewed an intellectual as myself like a Beastly-Pet-Slave. Purple Gitimall, for the first time since my detainment and inaction into your services, I am proud to be your Pokemon.”

“Oh yeah sure”.

And then I kicked him into the well.

“PURPLE! Master! Help me!” cried Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley as he clung to the stone wall of the well for his life.

I got to my knees, looked into the Kingbro's eyes with the look of the Pokemon Trainer Vitorious, and in one movement, I slammed my hands upon his, making sure my claws dug deep (pretend here guys), and with the transformation of straight face into a sly grin, I whispered...

“Long.”

“Live.”

“The.”

“King.”

And then I dropped him. He probably died.

Catch You Later!

Purple Gitimall, Pokemon Trainer Victorious

P.S: I killed him cause he was a douche.

P.S.S: Oh, and in case you couldn't tell, I paid off the slowpokes to charge at us so I could put my plan of kicking Captain McI'mDeadNow AKA The Former King Steven Bradley into the well into action. I hid it really well by not mentioning it at all. Pretty smart, if you ask me.

Gent Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 31: Everything’s Coming Up Roselias

I’m afraid I did a horrible thing last night.  An evil, vile, dreadful thing I’m going to be regretting for a long time.  Though I can’t imagine why I did it, I burned down Mr. Pokémon’s house!  I feel awful, just completely terrible.  I know I said some rather hurtful things about the man, but that doesn’t mean I hate him or anything, I was just off on a tiff or something. 

Umbreon got hurt in the fire, and as soon as the flames lapped him I sort of snapped into what was going on.  I ran back home to get a burn heal on him, calling the Jennies and anonymously reporting the fire when I’d finished.  So Umbreon had to rest in his pokéball all day.  I hope he doesn’t mind it too much.  From what Purple said I don’t think it’s terribly nice in there. 

But Espeon was with me, and I just began to feel so awful about what I’d done that I couldn’t loaf around for a moment longer.  Dragging Lickitung along with me, though not necessarily telling her everything, I went by Mr. Pokémon’s house to offer my services in helping him with the repairs.  He seemed guarded at first, a fair response considering my actions yesterday, but after a little bit I proved that my intentions were true.  Espeon even helped out a bit, moving boards and tools around with her powers.  With all four of us helping, the damages were fixed in no time flat. 

Although I never told Mr. Pokémon I had started the fire, I still felt my conscience nipping at my heels.  So I went back home, gathered up all of my money that I’d saved, and slid it under his door.  It’s nice to give to others.  I think tomorrow I’ll go over and cook dinner for him.  I guess that would require buying food though… oh well, I can scrounge something up if I put my noggin to the grindstone.

I know I usually don’t take many pauses when writing, but I simply must do so right now, as there is a gentleman asking for me.

…

Never mind about that, he simply wanted to mug me.  Lucky that I didn’t have any money.  I hope I can get somebody to loan me a new pair of pants, mine were just taken.

I’m sure he needed them more than me,
Gent Trainer Andrew ♂