Purple, Day 24: I Only Walked About 16 Steps Today

So I spent the night in a relief shelter. What a shit hole! Geez, just because your entire city was destroyed by an earthquake doesn't mean you have to be all poor and stuff. The reconstruction of the city seems to be going well though. We may have to break it again just to show it we mean business.

As I started to plot the second downfall of Saffron, I was approached by a relief worker. She said some bullshit about me being an “able-bodied, young man who could help the city in its time of need”. I  responded by pretending to starve, scoring me a nice hot meal and an apology from the lady. Ha ha, I used your sympathy to my advantage. I figured I couldn't stay here if these people were going to harass me about helping them. I'll have to kill Sabrina another time.

I strolled out of the eastern gate and the guard said something about being too grumpy to let me pass, but that he would let me pass if I got him some tea. I do not know what that is. He then explained to me the concept of “tea”. While he was in the middle of talking about leaves or something I sent out Pokey to intimidate him while I made my escape. Apparently Pokey isn't very scary because he then sent out a Growlithe to handle Pokey and pulled out his nightstick to beat me to a pulp for trying to break the rules.

Pokey took a few flamethrowers to the face before he understood a battle was going on, and used bubblebeam on the fiery pooch, rendering him wet and soapy (which defeats him because water beats fire (I think)). I too must make battle! I threw a Cinnabar Fire Punch (part of the martial art style that Blaine taught me that I totally mentioned early (He said if I followed the way of the Cinnabar Fist, I could become the new Crobatman!)) which the guard dodged. He then struck me exactly 4 times with his nightstick. Little did he know, I was pretending to be dead! It turns out he was just scratching his nose and then followed up by hitting me over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and... he actually didn't stop for a good 8 minutes. What a trooper. He then gave up and went to fetch a mop to clean what he thought to be a corpse off the floor. Little did he know, I was pretending to be dead! It was my plan all along!

I then sprung up and stabbed him in the liver! Don't worry folks, he didn't die! He instead stumbled off after admitting his defeat and that I was a worthy opponent and lived a long life where he met a girl named Barbara whom he devoted his life to. They had 5 children and moved into the mountains where they spent their life together and had many other wonderful journeys. He actually just collapsed on the floor but I assume that's what he has in store for him once he gets over this whole bleeding thing.

I moved him out of the middle of the room,because if people came by and saw a bleeding sleeping person, they might think hes dead! His chair looked comfy so I sat down. Sleepy time now...

Catch You Later.

Purple Gitimall