Okay, so I know I was all about being all against drugs and shit and waving the Kanto flag like a little fucking machine, but SCREW THAT. Hey, I’m going to tell you, straight up: drugs aren’t bad. That’s right kiddies. Cyan, you might want to listen to this because you’re on a dark road little man. All that shit they told you in school about staying away from drugs and sucking Silph Co’s balls was lies. Slowpoke tails aren’t bad for you; they don’t cause any brain damage or make you spastic and kill people or nothing.
Know what they do? Free your mind. I used to be so uptight about everything, just going around with this stick up my ass, just blowing smoke up everyone’s asses. But I discovered the real meat and potatoes of life: freedom. Happiness is all about being who you really are, and just expressing it however you want. Yet some suit and tie big-shots want to ban something that my ancestors have been doing for years? Don’t think so. Taking Slowpoke tails doesn’t even hurt the things; they can’t feel pain, too stupid.
I was feeling pretty antsy my first night off of the stuff. I hit the streets, looking for something else to put my energies into. I’m at some hip little coffee place just off the main street, and I met the most sensational girl: Violet. Apparently she and her sisters are part of some Sensational act or something. She says they left the youngest one at the gym. I tell her I do some pokémon training myself. I get a laugh out of her and she starts to open my eyes, lift the shit curtain to all this seedy underbelly stuff they don’t tell you about the Pokémon League.
Did you know that the Safari Zone is the only place you can find Kangaskhan because the League fucking committed genocide upon the whole species, just so they could make a profit off having the last ones? Crazy shit.
I follow her back to her place up above the gym, and she asks me if I poke. Now, I was really trying to lay off it like the little dweeb I was, but she convinced me.
It only gets better. That, and I actually remembered what was up this time. Violet took me on a wild ride these last two days.
Day one was mostly spent petting this Oddish that I saw a Nurse Joy kick. And you think they’re probably all nice and stuff, right? Its leaves were the softest things that I’ve ever felt in my entire life…
I’m not sure what happened the rest of the day, but I’ll assume it was crazy. Actually, I’m not sure what I did yesterday either. It must have been insane. I woke up this morning in bed with Violet, so I know I’m doing something right. We’re kindred souls me and her. I don’t want to jump into this kind of stuff fresh off of another relationship, but I think I might be in love.
…
I wonder what her last name is.
...
Is she 18?
Fuck the police,
Cool Trainer Andrew ♂
No comments:
Post a Comment