To be totally honest, I’m not even sure if I want to keep going in the Pokemon League anymore. I get no respect, and have the misfortune of running into awful people (or as I call them, fish) everywhere!
So the day started as normally as any other. I went to the Pokemon Center to again heal my Pokemon. Between fighting Team Rocket, getting beaten by Purple (something I’m still reeling over. The giant purple jackass), and having Rhyhorn lobbed into my cranium, they get kind of tired. While I was there, I decided now would be a great time to try my new Pokemon. Beedrill and Electabuzz now sit in the Pokemon Center’s PC so Lapras and Hitmonlee can join me on my quest to be the best (hey, that rhymed!)
To complete this challenge, I walked into Saffron City’s gym to defeat the mysterious Gym Leader, Sabrina. As I walked in, I noticed something. There was the door, and a brick wall. This was just perfect. I mean, who design’s these places, this is the architectural “Screw you” to the world! That was until I noticed a Silph Co. plate on the floor. Staring, I saw two pads, much like I had seen in the heated battle I had with Team Rocket. Deciding that it could never hurt to try the same thing twice, I stepped on the one to the left.
Huge. Mistake.
I landed with a hard thud, right into the line of sight of one of Sabrina’s trainers. As they challenged me, I wiped off my buttocks and threw out my newest partner, Hitmonlee! Now, I don’t know if the Johtonese taught this thing some of their customs, but it sure liked to kick. This man’s Mr. Mime (weirdest lookin’ thing ever. Why does it wear gloves?) was toast in about three seconds. Next came out Kadabra. Hitmonlee went in for the merciless kill. POW! RIGHT IN DA’ KISSER!
Leaving smug, I gladly took this man’s money and was happy with my PC decision making. I continued to take warp pads, wondering why I was not running into any trainers, until I reached…. Her…
Sabrina must have never been loved as a child, cause she was really too into this whole psychic stuff. She reminded me of a Nurse Joy who really never wanted to be a Nurse Joy that I had seen on my travels. With a toss, she threw a Pokeball straight for my head and I ducked to avoid it. Why was she so violent? I let out Hitmonlee and asked her if she could use a hug. This was before her Mr Mime tried to kick me in the Voltorbs. Thankfully, my Hitmonlee (who I’m now going to refer to as “Wang Chung” cause of his mad ninja skillz), kicked the Mimey freak right in his back.
Dancing a little bit at my success, another Pokeball was flung at my feet, and I watched Venonat try to disembowel me. This is when I realized we weren’t so much having a Pokemon battle as she was trying to rip out my heart and feed it to me.
I deposited Wang Chung (for now) and released Charizard. Although something weird happened. He refused to fight! The moment I released him, he went down for a nap. I was livid! I screamed at him, tried to make him angry, but he just slapped me with his tail and rolled over. What an ingrate! Sabrina giggled to herself. This is why women shouldn’t be allowed to vote….
Anyways, I deposited my useless Charizard and transferred it for my Rhyhorn who would obey me. It leaped towards Venonat, who appeared to have been four steps ahead of my beast. I was pissed. I attempted to grab Rhyhorn and only had mild success. Luckily, when I dropped him, Venonat was right underneath him. So, I guess I won that one. Kadabra came out and I knew exactly what to do with him. I released Wang Chung, and screamed, “HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAH!” My Pokemon was really confused but got the gist of my message. A swift roundhouse kick to the jaw.
Yeah, that’s what Hi-Yah means.
Lastly, was Alakazam. I peered into it’s moustache… I wondered how long it took him to grow it, I wanted one! This was before he hypnotized Wang Chung. What a jerk! Wang Chung just had a nap, now he wouldn’t sleep tonight! So, out came my secret weapon. Dugtrio. I released my valiant warrior who decided to do what he did best. Dig. Out he came from the ground, lifting Alakazam along with him! What a show! The Ground Crew Featuring Diglett was quickly earning my respect.
Now, I have my sixth gym badge. I’m pretty stoked to destroy these other two Gym Leaders for my other two. I would have to destroy them. I needed to defeat Purple Gitimall in the Pokemon League. I WILL PUSH HIM OFF A SMALL HILL AND INTO A BUNCH OF WILD TAROUS! (Purple, if you’re reading this, just ignore this paragraph. You know, you won’t like it. Just go back to playing with your thumbs. Not your toes, your thumbs, they’re on your hands. There you go.)
Cyan Gitors
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