I donned the cape, swooshed up my hair, cocked my eyebrow, and I was ready to go. I had managed to slap Lance enough that he gave me a few tips on being a dragon trainer. Most of it was pretty garbled, but I managed to squeeze out a few choice instructions.
Mounting the stairs, my muscles tightened as I saw the bright light of the room up above. Squinting under the awesome glare, I came out on a platform, able to survey the room before me. This was the zenith of my existence, the mighty peak to the proverbial mountain. All my training had lead me here, this was fate incarnate. I felt it in my blood, in my being, this was my destiny. A rumbling sounded in my ears as I gazed intently at the door, waiting for my challenger to enter.
I had to stand there for a few hours before he came in. Nice dragon statues.
When finally the doors opened, I saw the face of my opponent. Much to my surprise, it was Purple, my fellow cohort in the internet. I greeted him kindly, forgetting my post as an Elite Four member. On second thought, it probably would have been best to prepare some sort of opening dialogue. Lesson learned, I suppose.
After Purple insulted me, I threw out Pinsir and the battle begun. Channeling all that Lance had taught me, I used the greatest pokémon technique known to man.
“Hyper Beam!”
His dopey looking Magmar never stood a chance. It had worked! Truly Lance was a master of his craft. Though, for some reason, once Purple threw out his Exeggutor, Pinsir lay down on the ground, resting. I screamed at it to get up, but it just lay there as Exeggutor smashed the poor thing in. I returned Pinsir before it had to endure too much. Curse you Purple!
Fearow was next, and he was at his absolute best; all his feathers pristine and sharp. This would be quite the battle. Neither pokémon would have an upper hand here, and only the cleverest attack strategy would prevail.
“Hyper Beam!”
When you get out of that coma Lance I am giving you such a hug! Where do you think of these things?! That bully Exeggutor never stood a chance, each of its heads a visage of pain.
But the same pitfall as before ensnared me, and his Weezing easily blew my poor bird away. Here was the final play; it all came down to this. Nothing could stop the power of my next pokémon: Lickitung!
She came out raring to go, a smirk of determination played out on her face. I winked to her, and she to me. Our bond was strong as ever! No challenger could stand in our way. Whatever the challenge, I knew that our two hearts would face it as one; a powerful love standing erect against an evil sea of villainy and deceit!
Thinking it best that I use a dragon move at least once, myself being in place of the dragon trainer, I had Lickitung use Dragon tail, a TM I had taken from Lance the night before. Lickitung wheeled around, smashing the Weezing across one of its great, ugly faces. We’ve got this Lickitung! Before she could attack again, the floating grimace blasted her with sludge. Drat! I had to think quickly, Lickitung was weak, and there was no way she would be able to take the thing down too easily.
Summing up my master intellect, I devised a wonderful plan. Knowing Purple’s gullibility, I tricked him into thinking that pokémon attack in “turns” or some other lie like that. What a stooge! Under that guise, I went out to the middle of the field and sprayed a Full Restore onto Lickitung. Now the fight was back on!
Before I could take advantage of the situation though, Purple’s Weezing used some weird move that hurt Lickitung while healing itself. What is this!? This must be cheating of some sort. I’ll have to talk to Lance about this in the future.
In the next moment, both Purple and I yelled out “Hyper Beam!” and our two pokémon shot the glowing yellow beam out towards each other. The room was filled with a blinding light that forced me to cover my eyes. As the dust cleared, I looked in horror as Lickitung’s body lay still on the ground; Weezing’s not too far away, still as hers. I ran to her, feeling for a pulse. She was alive, but very weak. I kissed her snout gently before returning her to her ball. Purple would pay for what he did!
A six pokémon match!? Nobody told me about this!
Pardon the language, but FUCK! FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK!
I’m going to Pokémon Center,
Trainer Andrew ♂
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