You've heard of it haven't you? The legend of Gentleman Sparda.
When I was young my father would tell me stories about him. Long ago, in ancient times (compared to my age), a man rebelled against his own kind for the sake of the Gentlemen.
With his touch-of-class, he shut the door in the generic-male realm and sealed their bad manners off from the Gentlemen world. But since he was also a generic-male, he was trapped on the other side.
I never believed it. I thought it was just a child's fairy tale. But I discovered this so-called legend wasn't a myth at all. Gentleman Sparda existed.
How do I know? Well...
I met the son of Gentleman Sparda. The very one. Though the same blood of his father flowed through his veins, Gentleman Sam battled against the generic-males like arch enemies. It seemed that he derived some sort of twisted pleasure from this touch-of-class fighting. But in the end... only one was left standing.
AND IT WAS GENTLEMAN SAM BECAUSE HE BECAME A GENTLEMAN AND STUFF AND HE TOLD EVERYONE ELSE THAT HIS FATHER WAS A GENTLEMAN AND THUS THE GENTLEMAN SPARDA LEGEND CAME INTO BEING!
Well, that very man was my opponent today. The well-mannered man offered kindly for me to choose my Pokémon first. I picked Fluttershy. Gentleman Sam threw out a Clefairy. But this Clefairy was different to any other I have met. This Clefairy didn't move and didn't say anything. No, this Pokémon just stared. Stared forever. Fluttershy stared back but after a while, she ran towards me in fright, and jumped back into her Pokéball. Never mind.
I was left with a problem. What could out-stare this monster of a Clefairy?
The answer was Haunter. Surely a ghost Pokémon would fare well. He lasted a long time. He pulled faces and appeared and disappeared around Clefairy in the hopes of making it flinch or something but even Haunter gave up.
I was down to my last Pokémon, since these battles have rules where each trainer is only allowed three Pokémon each. After careful consideration, I selected Aerodactyl.
During the battle, Gentleman Sam had been courteous and quiet, watching the battle intently while his Clefairy out-stared my Pokémon with ease. Now on the other hand, Gentleman Sam showed just how bad-mannered a man could be.
While Aerodactyl ripped the Clefairy apart, throwing its limbs and entrails of white fluff, Gentleman Sam unleashed every curse word that I had ever heard, even ones I hadn't. I was left speechless.
Gentleman Sam demanded I pay him the money for his Pokédoll Clefairy. It was a mistake for him to do that as the referee (who stands on the edge of the battlefield, watching for any cheating - seriously, that man is a hero to have to stand near such chaos and violence) overheard him talk about his Pokédoll. Pokédolls aren't allowed in the Pokémon League it turns out, so Gentleman Sam was disqualified.
I win!
Round three here I come!
Since my victory, I've been feeling a lot better. I've had no headaches and I've not had any dreams. I think whatever was wrong with me is slowly going away.
About bloody time.
Nur--- Pink McQueen
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