Trainer Andrew ♂, Day 57: Behind the Bars

Remind me never to urinate in public again…

Perhaps I should explain that.  See, there was a reason I couldn’t post anything last night, and that was because I was stuck in JAIL!  All because I was so daring as to think that I might piss on a bush!  Is there truly no other crime going on around here that the Jennies have enough free time that they can arrest people for emptying their bladders on Mother Nature!  Pokémon do it all the time, and nobody seems to be yelling at them.  Well… I assume they do.  Now that I think of it I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pokémon use the bathroom…  That’s beside the point though.

It’s almost getting comical, this cycle where things start looking really good and them I’m thrust into this hate spiral of depression and I end up doing some terrible action I regret forever.  Been there, done that.  I’ll just watch myself this time.  Make sure I don’t start slipping. 

Jail was so dreadfully boring.  There weren’t any other convicts, so I spent most of my time sitting on the bench in the corner and counting the tic marks somebody had made on the wall.  And all this because I don’t have 100 pd.  100!  That’s nothing, really.  Bug Trainers carry around more money than that! 

The most amazing thing happened to me though.  While I sat there, waiting for them to process whatever forms it would take to release me from my concrete room, I heard the keys to the door turn in the lock.  I assumed it was another prisoner, and tried to puff my chest out in case they wanted to illicit sexual favors from me. 

Never again…

It wasn’t that though, it turned out to be Lickitung!  I gasped in surprise as she walked in the door, nodding to the guard.  Though I tried to hug her, she stood stoic as a rock.  I explained that I wasn’t in here for anything serious, and that I’d managed to get clean.  Despite all my wild hand gestures and the full expectation that she would accept me right then and there, she held off, her demeanor cool.  Had I not done enough?  I questioned, unsure now.  She looked away from me. 

Then, crouching down close to her, I lay a soft kiss on the top of her head, whispering into her ear, “I’m sorry, I am.  But I’m different now, you’ll see.  Leave me again if I’m lying, but please, offer me a second chance.” 

I’m currently writing this from a hotel bathroom, just outside of a bedroom where a Lickitung lies asleep and fully satisfied. 

Not too shabby, if I don’t say so myself.

It’s good to be on the outside,
Trainer Andrew ♂