Meh Pokemanz:
Koff Koff the Weezing
The Scrambler the Exeggutor
Garfunkel the Magmar
Missile the Raichu
Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley the Slowkingbro
BlueScreen the MissingNo.
On with the post!
The door slammed shut behind me; I had taken my first step into the Elite Four Gauntlet Hall. The room was filled ice and water. I began my trek across the frozen wasteland. After hours of wondering through the ice, I became aware to the fact that I was lost (I knew because I passed this weird guy wearing a Scuba suit looking at some frozen chick like 8 times). Knowing I was lost, I dived into the water to find my way. 3 seconds after diving in, I noticed the room was 7 blocks by 13 blocks (which isn't too large (for indoors (outside is a different story))).
“Welcome to POKEMON LEAGUE! I am LORELEI of the ELITE FOUR! No one can best me when it comes to icy POKEMON! Freezing moves are powerful! Your POKEMON will be at my mercy when they are frozen solid! Hahaha! Are you ready?”, said Lorelei
I don't own any “icy” pokemon.... I GUESS I CANNOT BE BESTED BY YOU. She sent out a Dewgong, so I responded by sending out The Scrambler. Giggling, she informed me that her ice attacks are super-effective against grass (Holy shit, they are!?!) so I offered her my rebuttal of a freshly picked Energy Ball to her Dewgong's face. The Dewgong let out a terrible cry as it fainted, causing Lorelei to frown a bit (maybe I can get her to cry if I keep this up!). She sent out Cloyster, The Scrambler hit it with an Energy Ball, it fainted, she frowned harder, she sent out Slowbro, hit it with an Energy Ball, it fainted, she frowned EVEN harder, she sent out Jynx, Energy Ball,it fainted- OH GOD IT'S USING ICE BEAM FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT THE SCRAMBLER FAINTED YOU WHORE.
Turns out Jynx is a real ice pokemon! How do I combat ice? I heard that some trainers use fire pokemon, because fire melts ice, but that doesn't make sense because once the ice melts it becomes water, which is strong against fire. I firmly believe that Fire being super-effective against ice is a conspiracy imposed on us by the ice trainers of the world who want to hold their heads above the rest of us and be like “HURR DURR, WE CAN BEAT DRAGONS GAIZ”. Taruosshit, all of it.
I stared at her Jynx and tried to decifer its weakness. Hmmm, I got it! Go BlueScreen!
The instant BlueScreen came out, a security camera fired a lazar at him, which made him faint (I think?). Lorelei then informed me that a pokemon like it was banned from the matches.
Whaddafuk.
Oh well, I sent out Koff Koff had him get all gassy. Jynx started to cough and Koff Koff used that moment of weakness to ram her in the face. It proved effective (not super-effective, just regularly effective).
This left Lorelei on her last pokemon, a Lapras. I returned Koff Koff and sent out Missile. She looked angry and wondered why- ZAP THE SHIT OUT OF IT MISSILE.
“How dare you win! Go on and continue your Elite Four Challenge!”
Is... is that it? Oh well, on to the next room! Actually I'm really tired, I'm going to sleep ontop of Lorelei. It's really cold here.
Catch You Later.
Purple Gitimall
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