I awoke in a small bed off to the side of Oak's lab. Oh man I hope he didn't touch my penis (although in hindsight I am totally okay if Blaine touched my penis, he is like a father to me (a father I wanna bang (ewww))). Oak walked in and told me he put my arm in a cast, and that I shouldn't bitch. Why is my arm in cast? Ow. Oh yeah its hurt. Stupid Oak, limiting how many pokemon I can hold. Well I better check 'em, if I got 'em.
Pokemon with me: Koff Koff the Weezing, Blue Screen the MissingNo., Missile the Pikachu, The Scrambler the Exeggutor, Garfunkel the Magmar, and Captain McFunRuiner AKA Steven Bradley the Slowkingbro.
Pokemon in the PC: Tubbo the Fat Guy the Snorlax, “Shitty Duck” the Farfetch'd, Girly the Hitmonchan, a dying Kangaskhan, and Kingacrual; My Prisoner of War the Tentacruel.
Well now this is going to be hard to keep track of! How am I supposed to know what pokemon I have if they are not rotting in a pile of pokeballs in my backpack! STUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUPID!
I told Oak to go fuck himself and I made a trot for the door. One of his Aides blocked the exit and I prepared myself for the imminent raping. It turned out he had mail for me! Oh boy, I love mail! He walked me out behind his lab (Oh Blaine, he is going to rape me!) and pointed to a block of cement that had “To Purple, Love Your Dad” carved into it. Also it had a tiny bit of blood on it (about a single fatal gunshots worth).
“What is it?”, I asked.
“A cement block, leave me alone.”, Said Oak.
Well it turns out my Dad's final gift to me was this cement block (my Mom told me my Dad died 4 years ago while “a freak getting milk accident and not from a gunshot while doing illegal stuff”). I promise to treat this block of cement with utmost care!
I wonder where I could find a hammer.... oh well THIS IS A TIME FOR ACTION! I whipped my injured arm out of the cast and started pounding away at the block. The pain was immense but I just had to destroy this precious keepsake from my dad. I knew it to be true from my blood. I hit it over and over and over until my arm was raw and bloody. I think my arm had gone from dislocated to broken. Funny what a few hours of allowing that primal urge to smash can do to ones limbs if preformed upon a cement block. I stepped back and allowed the pain to consume my very being, took a great breath, and focused all the power I had gathered in doing that into my arm, giving the block one final mighty strike! It shattered into a million pieces releasing a glorious light!
Naw, it didn't do shit. In fact, the block had taken no damage from any of my attacks and could be described as having “full health”. Well my arm is worse off than Koff Koff's arms (and he doesn't have any). I said fuck it and had The Scrambler stomp it.
The block was smooshed into dust, leaving only a luxuryball. The ball instantly opened and out flew a large green penis (or dragon, whatever you want to call it). The phallace flew up into the sky, never to be seen again.
That was totally worth breaking my arm over.
Catch You Later.
Purple Gitimall
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