I would also like to celebrate the 17 day anniversary of me becoming a trainer. Job well done guys. Really I couldn't have made it this far without you. Its been slightly longer than 2 weeks and I've managed to not have to resort to selling an organ. Truly I am destined for great things. In these fateful 17 days I've managed to catch some pretty great pokemon.
Pidgey: Now deceased and full of suck. You do not deserve to be on my list of champs. Fuck you.
Koff Koff the Weezing: My wing(poke)man and my best friend. I consider him my equal/superior (Does this please you, Master Koff Koff?). I love you.
The Scrambler the Exeggutor: He is a tree with 4 heads, 3 in the front and 1 in the back (the back head looks pretty lonely). I like trees.
Squirtle: I traded you 2 minutes after catching you. I like to think that you were a kleptomaniac with a heart of gold.
Pokey the Slowpoke: What a motherfucker.
Kingacruel the Tentacruel: He is not a member of my team, he is my prisoner and he shall rot in the computer.
Garfunkel the Magmar: I have not looked at him once since I caught him. He's probably a pretty cool guy.
Tubbo the Fat Guy the Level 150 Snorlax: I'm having a hard time describing him as I cannot ignore his girth.
Blue Screen the MissingNo.: I will steal your secrets and master them as my own!
Party's over everybody, get the hell out. Oh wait more stuff happened today. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE, I LOVE YOU.
Blaine sat me down at his desk and told me he had something serious to tell me. I sat down and he grasped my hands and looked me in the eyes. He had the prettiest blue eyes in the world (I couldn't actually see his eyes but I like to pretend they are). He then asked me to join his gym again and before I could turn him down (as I didn't want to disappoint him with my lack of training in being able to stand in one spot for extended periods of time), he told me he could train me in the art of being a Cool Trainer as he was a Cool Trainer in his youth. He even had his old outfit! Uh oh. Pink and Cyan hate Cool Trainers! It's the in thing this season to hate Cool Trainers!
Dear Cool Trainer Andrew ♂,
I really like you. I even respect you, but everybody else hates you! I can't afford not to look hip (Looking cool is so last season by the way (Apparently I'm not good at this fashion stuff)), so I have to hate you to fit in with the status quo (Ah yeah I learned a word (I really hope I used it right though (Holy shit this a lot of parenthesis))). I am your friend, really, but when people are around I am going to pretend to hate you. Also, if you are Cyan or Pink please do not read this.
Catch You Later,
Purple Gitimall
I couldn't accept his offer, so I did the logical thing and challenged him to a pokemon battle. I think you are supposed to beat Gym Leaders or something so I guess thats good. He was a tad startled that I, a person so special to him, would challenge him to a pokemon battle but he then accepted.
We made our way out to the volcano battlefield because its cool to fight there. When we arrived Blaine sent out Arcanine, who immediately passed out. Oh yeah, I forgot that we spent last night party-hardying and that most of his pokemon were exhausted as I kept him busy all day with making me drinks, so he had no time to go to the pokemon center. He went through all his pokemon only to find them passing out, throwing up, or demanding Exeggcute Benedict, only to find a lonely Ponyta he had been training for one of the dumber trainers at the gym (I think Blaine said his name was Shmurple Shmitimall). I sent out Tubbo the Fay Guy directly above the Ponyta, killing it with a splat. That made Blaine sad for a moment but then he cheered up, congratulating me for defeating him. It must be a proud moment for every parent when their child/love slave surpasses them.
But then he broke the news that he couldn't give me a badge as I wasn't registered with the Pokemon League. I do not know what a badge is but apparently I need 8 of them. He then told me if I was going to register myself, I would have to go to Pallet Town as Cinnabar didn't have a register office.
I guess I stayed here too long anyways. Good bye Blaine. I will never forget you.
Catch You Later.
Purple Gitimall
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