After a long time of waiting (I would say about 15 minutes), I began to struggle again. Ouch. Okay, that didn't work BUT I'M NOT DONE YET. So I whipped my knife out (checking that it was a real knife and not a pineapple first, of course) and cut a hole in the wall so I could get out!
Turns out that the 15 minutes was really 2 days, and that the pack of Kangaskhan had made a prison break in that time because we were in a field just on the outskirts of Saffron Ruins (It's cool for me to make that joke because my girlfriend destroyed the city (They're doing a good job rebuilding!)). I also seemed to forget that I was trapped inside a living creature as I just cut a lard whole through the belly of a living creature. It moaned and squirtifyed its bloodjuices all over the place. Have some dignity man. Or woman. The baby keeps you guessing. It looked at me with its big androgynous eyes and I figured couldn't just leave it there. So I captured it where it would be safe inside the ball. Then the horror struck. If I release it from its ball it could die (and get blood everywhere)! Oh god. I must keep it in here for the rest of its days or until a cure for having a hole cut in your belly has been found. Either or really.
I then noticed I was surrounded by the rest of the Kangapack. They looked at me with horrified eyes and burst into attack. After an hour of cutting down Kangaskhan after Kangaskhan (and a few mankeys), I had won the war. I looked at the bloodied battlefield where many lay injured and more dead. The injured looked up at me with the same begging androgynous, Growlithe eyes and blood squirtyness. It's sucks for them, because I was out of pity points. You'll get no sympathy from me, ya fuckin' mooks.
After cooking up and eating a few Kangaburgers, I made my way down to the ruins of Saffron. People were running to and fro trying to fix the place. Tee hee, I helped break it. As I walked around, I noticed a little old lady watering her garden. Aww, she takes care of plants because her grandchildren don't visit her. How depressingly hilarious! I then noticed Cyan through her window! He was sitting there in his boxers eating some Jiggly Puffs (My favorite cereal, that bastard!)! I barged right in and challenged him to a battle.
He looked up in shock and tried to hide his prepubescent shame but I wouldn't allow it! I sent out Garfunkel and told him to hit him with a flamethrower. Garfunkel then told me that “Cyan doesn't have any pokemon out and I cannot attack him as I follow the pokemon code of honor”, and I was like “Whaddafuk pokemon don't talk”, and he was like “Magmaaaaaaar”. I must of misheard him.
In this time Cyan had managed to grab his balls and put some pants on. He then scratched his testicles and threw out his first pokemon. We battled for a while and I don't remember most of it because I spent most of the time making up attack names and seeing if my pokemon would follow suit and create an attack to go with the name. This has a 63% success rate. We were both down to 3 pokemon. He had 3 Digletts (all out the same time no less!), and I had Koff Koff, Blue Screen, and Tubbo the Fat Guy (he was asleep which is a shame because it would be funny to watch him destroy the small house upon being released). The Digletts kept throwing rocks at Koff Koff, who got annoyed and blasted them with barf. I think that is an attack. I had won!
Cyan didn't take losing too lightly so he revved up his punching fists. If I have learned anything in the last few days, its that I shouldn't fight Cyan hand to hand (not until I become a Superhero at least) and that pokemon can do all my dirty work. So I sent out Blue Screen and watched Cyan drop to the floor and break into a cool dance (called a seziure by some people who know what stuff is) and change colors. I laughed a hearty laugh as I had just beaten a 9 year old child in a pokemon battle. I hope he cries!
Catch You Later.
Purple Gitimall
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