So, with my Pokeknowledge all wrapped up from the previous day, I decided it was finally time to visit the local gym to give that Gym Leader a piece of my mind (not to mention a double dose of burns from Charmander. You know, nothing lethal, just going to write my name in his arm.)
When I walked into the gym, I had two problems with it. First of all, the gym was a giant swimming pool! Who allowed this!? The safety inspector would have had a small series of aneurisms! Second problem, looking at the end, I noticed that who happened to be the leader was, a girl!? Who allowed this!? Last I checked, this was Poke America (Kanto for short), thank you! If we let women be trainers, what’s next!? Letting them vote!? Nonsense! Why should we let the woman do this!? They are fragile creatures, not meant for the heat of battles!
There was a small plank (probably used to be an ironing board for the Gym Leader) to walk across to get to this female atrocity. There was no place to avoid the trainers! The little jerks just swam right up and demanded to fight you! Not even a please! If I’m ever a Gym Leader, I’m going to have to teach my minions some manners (I might even have them call me Jesus. That’s not the name of any major monarchs, right?)
So, after defeating the MANY swimmers (who buys these little rugrats such revealing swimsuits!?), I reached Misty, the Gym Leader of Cerulean City. We bantered for a bit, she told me how much she was going to defeat me, I continually asked her where the kitchen was in this giant pool and we went into epic battle. As she let loose her Staryu I commanded Charmander step forward.
… Now I’m not up to date in today’s hot trends, but I did not know fire was so easily defeated by fish! Staryu destroyed Charmander. The little fish jerk would just not let my beloved fire lizard go until I sent it back. After I did, I went with my ace in the hole! Rhyhorn!
….
I HATE ALL THE FISH IN THE WORLD!
Knowing I was going to be made looking like a fool to the female species, I sent out Doduo. What was the worst thing it could do, make me look like more of a failure than I had already done? That was almost impossible. So, I watched to see what would happen.
Now, I know I have seen a little prejudice to those who are different (naming my Diglett “Major Phallic” and hating everything with more than one head), but dear Lugia, that bird just mauled that fish! Took it to town, bought it a nice meal, and then beat it like a child that’s insecure in their sexuality beats a fat kid! After when Starmie came out, I thought that there might be more of a challenge but I have learned something:
Never underestimate, or piss off a bird with two heads. You will learn to regret it.
Productive day overall, I got to learn about the rage Doduo’s have, I torqued Misty and took half her cash, AND I GOT MY SECOND BADGE! All I need is some food and to be able to get to Vermillion City. I wonder if that securely guarded route is the way to go!
Remember, the woman is not people. She is an object, and don’t you forget it!
Cyan Gitors
PS: Does anybody know how I can get a bike? My running shoes are starting to get dirty.
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