I hit the floor, my bleeding partially stopped. I had fallen off of the statues horn and was revitalized! How did this happen (yo ho ho, I took a bite of life life???)? I looked up and saw a woman (who I am 174% sure is not Pink) who had a crumbling revive in her. That makes sense.
The woman looked all teary eyed and was saying something but I didn't care; She used a revive on me. A revive! That's why I only feel about half way alive! I yelled in her face about how if anybody managed to land a critical on me that I was done for but she was too busy looking all happy and shit so I took off running. I like to assume that I have been dead (“fainted”) for about a Gajillion years and I was now in the Super Future. That would explain why that woman had a Robo-Roller for legs.
My god, in this future I bet they have robot pokemon! They are like Steel types but more Roboty! My Blaine! I ran through the ruins of indigo plateau (which looked pretty swanky for being the ruins of an ancient civilization) so that I may warn its inhabitants of the monsters that they would probably already know about. As I passed through a large arch, I found myself in the court of a large Colosseum. There were lights and cheering people (perhaps booing, its hard to understand their future-dialect), and I came to the horrible truth: I had gone so far in time that it reset, and was now trapped in the past.
I noticed in the distance a banner that read “Pokemon League Opening Ceremony”, and what luck I have, I am in a prehistoric time that observes the traditions of the advanced society that came before and after it. Such a fun paradox! I figured I would start a new life in this time, and start it off right by becoming the Champion of their league.
“HEY EVERYBODY, I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AND I AM FROM YOUR TIME PERIOD. I AM NOT LATE TO THIS EVENT IN THE SLIGHTEST.”, I shouted loud enough for people to believe me. The louder you are, the more trustworthy you become.
Some man announced over their primitive, magic-ritual sound amplifier that I was the 31st contestant. My Blaine, we are going to be fighting to the death. I am not prepared to submit to these barbarians wills..... where the fuck is my hat.
HELL TO PAY.
Catch You Later.
Purple Gitimall
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