I am in the sky. I fall asleep in funny places sometimes. One time, I fell asleep inside of my mother. Eventually, she spit me out and I was all born and stuff. Good times, good times. Oh yeah, I'm flying through the air really fast, almost forgot about that. I looked down and saw that I was on top of the flying green penis. It must had noticed that I woke up because it let out another roar and nosedived down toward the earth.
HOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYSHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!
Oof!!
Well it landed pretty gently but for some reason I still fell off the little (actually very, very large) bastard. The creature stared down upon me and I upon it. I could feel it was trying to say something but it wasn't one of those Psychic ma doodles so it couldn't talk to me inside my head. Maybe Captain McFunRuiner AKA King Steven Bradley could translate between the creature and myself. Naw, that means I would have to talk to that asshole. I'll just guess what he is saying.
"Raaaaaaaayquaaaaaaaazaaaaaa!"
Okay, well let's give this a shot...
“My name is Rayquaza and I am a legendary pokemon from the faraway region of Hoenn. I am tasked with the duty of guarding the sky and keeping peace between 2 other legendary pokemon who like to be complete dicks and fight from time to time. During my travels, I was attacked by a small gang of criminals called TEAM MISSILE who tried to capture me to fulfill their own evil plans. For a while, I was being followed by both TEAM MISSILE and TEAM ROCKET, whom wanted to thwart TEAM MISSILE because they are baby school and they believed themselves to be the big league chew. During a confrontation between the two, which was comprised off a big gun battle, I was paralyzed by a pathetic trainer named John Gitimall. In this moment of weakness, he attempted to capture me but to his surprise and my delight, I have a capture rate of 3. No matter how many pokeballs he threw, I would just pop right out. Hundreds of balls were thrown: Great balls, ultra balls, heavy balls, lure balls, dive balls, net balls, timer balls (I knew everything about the ballin' business); They were all useless. After a few hours of chucking balls at me, the paralysis was starting to wear off and just as I reared my head to blast him with a Draco Meteor, I was caught in a ball and I couldn't get out. He hadn't captured me, I knew this much, but for some reason, I couldn't wiggle out as custom dictates. Years later and I come to find he coated the ball in cement, making it impossible to open in the hopes that I would eventually give up and be captured. Purple Gitimall, I can see into your soul and I can tell you are one with a heart of gold as you do not mean any evils you commit. I, Rayquaza, will serve you in your moment of need. You have my wings and my super awesome dragon powers.”
I think that's what he said. I might've paraphrased a little.
Catch You Later.
Purple Gitimall
P.S: I am warning all of you Gym Leaders out there, I'm coming for all of you.
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