Hel-l-l-l-l-l-oooo and and and and welcome and and to the Pokémon Center .
We restore your tired Pokémon to full h-h-h-h-h-health!
I had many dreams last night, many involving flying Phanphies with big wide ears and another dream where a Salamence starting speaking in an odd accent, asking me to cut out a piece of his heart to give me immortality. He seemed like a nice dragon Pokémon.
I looked beside my bed and saw a tray with breakfast on it. This truly was the high life. Free food provided. Respect. As I drank some tea, I found little white bits of powder in it. Maybe it was mint tea? The food was delicious. For a moment, I felt-felt-felt.
There was a knock on the door. It was my Uncle Gio and I let him in. He said that today we could have a Pokémon battle but he wouldn't be using Mewtwo as the armoured Pokémon was currently incapacitated. Uncle Gio explained that Purple had used a bizarre monstrous Pokémon that warped reality like an Aes Sedai using Balefire. Whatever that was. He added that the "Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills". I assumed he was content about the whole thing.
After a little inspection of the computer room that overlooked the Pokémon Gym battlefield (and its all working now, money makes things better is what Uncle Gio said), I went to stand on the battlefield, ready to challenge my uncle. He stood smiling back at me. I felt so much pride.
The fight would be three against three. So to start things off, Uncle Gio sent out his Rhydon and I brought out Vaporeon.
"Good luck, Pink."
"Good luck, Uncle Gio."
The bell rang.
I told Vaporeon to use his Surf attack (surfing isn't just about swimming across water, it's also a move that can magically summon a tidal wave) since water was strong against ground types and... and... RHYDON STARTING SURFING ON THE WATER! What in Lugia's name?! Since when could a ground Pokémon (that wasn't also a water type, get lost Swampert) ever manage to Surf? Some Pokémon were broken.
With this in mind, there was only one way I could think of to stop Rhydon. Naturally, that was another water attack. This time, Vaporeon used Water Gun and Rhydon fell into the water it was surfing on and drowned. Whoops.
"Sorry Uncle Gio."
Giovanni smiled and threw out a Persian. Now I like cat Pokémon but this one was an exception. The Persian was a monster with claws that could pierce the Grey havens. It certainly did its best to scratch Vaporeon to a bleeding mess. Torn flesh and blood littered the battlefield in gruesome fashion and I had to put the water Pokémon back into his ball. He would need to be healed soon, otherwise he would die of blood loss.
I decided to use Machamp next to teach that beast a lesson. Machamp did more than that... he snapped the Persian's neck.
"Sorry Uncle Gio."
Uncle Gio sighed but shrugged and out came his last Pokémon. A Dugtrio. Pokémon like this one were also broken due to it just being a trio of Digletts. If----In my honest book of the Nurse Joy Codex, Pokémon such as these broke the Pokémon League rules. In fact, theories stated that there was some hive mind deep underground, perhaps as deep as the planet's core----headache... another headache. I had to ignore it if I was going to win the badge.
Dugtrio was fast. FASSSSSSTTTT! It acted as if the battle was some wacky race or something. Machamp couldn't keep up (even though the Pokédex states Machamp can punch a thousand times in two seconds with his four arms). Dugtrio won the fight. I think the only pain Machamp felt was from his torn pride.
Before I could send someone else out, Chansey jumped from her Pokéball. Wow, that was really nice of her, standing forth like that. She didn’t have to. I was worried though, surely a Normal type would fall against...
BOOM!
Egg Bomb. The Chansey knows Egg Bomb. Uncle Gio's Dugtrio was now all over the walls. There was even a bit of blood on Chansey's face. She licked it off and looked back at me smiling. I smiled back. Chansey was such a nice Pokémon.
I turned to my uncle and frowned. He was horrified. But why? Why was he scared of a Chansey? A Chansey was a nice Pokémon. They were so nice.
That's strange. The walls are dirty. Chansey is cleaning them with a Water Pulse attack. It's super effective against the dirt. That's funny for some reason. Laugh. Laugh laugh laugh. Ha... I found myself laughing. I was elated. A Pokémon Master or a Pokémon Gym Leader, it didn't matter. Now I just needed to win at the Pokémon League. And... and...
When did Chansey come out of her Pokéball? She's smiling at me. I smiled back. She's such a nice Pokémon. She's such a nice Pokémon. She's such a nice Pokémon.
Hope to see you again soon. Very soon. Very very soon. We can be friends. The best of friends. Chansey is my friend. Yes, she is very nice to me. I like Chansey.
When did Chansey come out of her Pokéball?
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