Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 3: Turning Johtonese


Fired!  I can’t believe this.  That vapid, brainless, rank, vile, bottom-scrounging bitch! 

Yeah, so apparently you can be “too powerful” to work at a pokémon gym.  What is that!?  I didn’t see anybody breaking their kneecaps to cater to my needs when I was putting in good, honest effort into things!

To vent my frustrations, and being inspired by being in Johto, I have decided to write a haiku which reflects how I feel about Gym Leader Whitney.

Whitney’s a trainer
That is a rather loose term
Please die in a hole

Actually here’s another:

Whitney is pretty
Oh wait, I didn’t mean that
You cum-dumpster whore

Not only did that happen, but now I think the motel people robbed me!  I woke up this morning to find that my wallet was empty.  Things just keep getting better and better.

Alright, that’s not entirely correct; when I was out walking in the park north of Goldenrod City, I did manage to catch my very first Johto pokémon.  I’m not sure what it is, as I just whipped a ball out in the field, but it must have been a hell of a throw because I bagged it instantly.  It’s been just the most exhausting day.  I am interested to see it, but I suppose I can wait till tomorrow. 

Whatever it is, it already knows Hyper Beam,
Trainer Andrew ♂

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