Well, today I decided to start my adventure again through the Johto region. I went inside of the Pokemon Center early in the morning and deposited my Pokemon in Professor Birch’s super computer, which sent them all in a PC. All except James Franco and Wang Chung. I don’t know why, but something about fire and fists makes me feel good (I have such a Sudowoody (first awful pun of Johto) right now) in the Voltorbs.
So, I decided to leave Newbark Town and out on to the route. As I looked out on to the route, I felt uneasy. It smelt funny. Like, unclean. When I saw the youngster out on the route, I could tell where the awful smell was coming from. It was the people. These people were so filthy. I mean, it’s not like they were bad people (they are) with bad personalities (they are) and it’s not like the Pokemon here are awful (bunch of butt-fucking whores), but it just seemed strange.
As I walked out in the tall grass, I was mauled by a Sentret. These things are so violent. I mean, they’re small, but they’re vicious (just like the people in Johto!) As I writhed on the ground, I grabbed at the little freak. Ripping it off my face, I punched it in the face as hard as I possibly could. Dear Lugia, Sentret fainted! Realizing I couldn’t capture it, I decided to dropkick it across the field.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Cyan, you seem like an amazing human being! How can you not capture a fainted Pokemon?” Why you ask? Well, that’s a good question, Purple. I can’t bring myself to capture one that’s defenseless. I mean, that would make me almost as awful as Trainer Andrew ♂, and we all know he’s a terrible person. Well, I guess in Johto he seems okay by comparison but still, in the real world, he’s terrible.
As I walked through the tall grass further, I ran into yet another Sentret. I can’t believe it. These things are like Ratatas! As it lunged at my face, I punched it straight in the face. As it fell like a rock to the ground, I noticed it still lingered in consciousness. Throwing my Pokeball at it, I caught the little jerk.
Now, I don’t know what to call it. I mean, it’s so awful. It’s just the worst thing I can possibly think of. I don’t know how a Pokemon could get any worse, but this thing succeeded on some level.
I’ve got it!
Sentret, you’re now Trainer Andrew Male the Sentret!
Cyan Gitors
PS: I’m already ashamed of this thing.
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