Trainer Andrew ♂, Johto Day 23: Where Dragons Dare

There are dead bodies everywhere!  Their mouths are agape like Magikarp sucking air, and they all arranged themselves neatly along the wall of the cave.  This is horrible, just horrible I tell you!  I mean- how could you even do this to yourself?  Why!?

I come out of the bathroom with Lickitung waiting there for me, and then we round the corner and BAM: death. 

I had to poke one to check.  They’re dead, definitely dead.  I need to sit down, this is too awful.  Over near the edge is that nice elderly gentleman that gave me a Dratini too.  I definitely can’t return it now, that’s for sure.  What kind of weirdo cult was Lance apart of!?  I mean, I’ve heard of doing crazy stuff for your ceremonies, but mass suicide!?  And by drinking punch of all things!

At least Lance and Clair, who is the gym leader here, managed to survive.  I sent them upstairs to get my backpack, which I realized I had left at the entrance to the cave.  They seemed really disappointed when they saw all the bodies lined up.  Did they know about this?  Lance always seemed like such a calm, collected guy, but when he came down all he could do was moan and cry about how he would never get to the moon now.  I am DONE with him.  He’s far gone, insane, flown the coop, dropped the bomb, is a pure, uncut lunatic. 

What’s worse than him going all crazy is that now he won’t show me out of the cave!  I have had quite enough of these “caves” for a while.  Nothing good ever seems to happen in them for me.  I’ll have to just crawl my way out, who cares if I get lost, and anything is better than spending a second near these psyducks! 

I need a shower, or a bath, or something, anything.  I feel dirty all over. 

Those bodies though, who’s going to clean them up…

Seriously!  What was that!?  AAAAAUUUUGH

I must be bad luck or something, people keep dying around me.

Trainer Andrew ♂