Sorry I didn't make a post yesterday, I was working with Nurse Joy to help my poor Koff Koff, but I have fantastic news! After the antidote neutralized the poison in Koff Koff, we were able to give him a poison transplant and his body has started to produce this new poison which he isn't allergic too! Also the poison was a much higher grade and it supercharged my Koff Koff forcing evolution (I'm not too sure how I felt about evolution before being a firm believer in Arceanity but I guess I'll just incorporate it in somehow)! Koff Koff is a Weezing now! I guess I should rename him Weez Weez... naw sounds stupid. He will forever be Koff Koff! I love you Koff Koff!
I was pretty hungry seeing as I didn't get to eat much yesterday (I managed to sneak a bite of The Scrambler's leaves when he hasn't looking (IT TASTES REALLY BAD)), so I figured I would drop by my old house and grab something out of the fridge. The place was pitch black and smelled bad. Geez Mom, I've been gone a week. I walked up to the fridge and WALAH! One of Mom's special “I taste alright enough for the time being” sandwiches was there! They taste sooooo okay! I love them!
I turned on the lights so I could feel neutral about my meal in peace, when I saw Mom. She was on the table asleep. Silly Mom. She even spilled a load of red liquid all over the table as well. Probably had one of her famous “Red Liquid Parties” last night. After I finished my sandwich I asked her to make me another. She didn't reply. So I asked again in a slightly more obnoxious tone. I did this for 15 minutes. It turns out Mom was just a little bit not alive at the moment. I gave her a hug and told her to get well soon (I was a little worried because we have a family history of dying soon after we stop living, but I figured she would be fine as Moms are near invincible).
I wondered over to the oldman's house with the little pond in front of it to make fun of him. He has been trapped over there since I was a little kid. He always stood in the same spot so I figured he might be a fan of getting made fun of as he never responded or even acknowledged my insults. That's when I saw Pink heading towards Cycling Road! I figured I would catch up with her when a Squirtle popped out of the pond!
I love Turtles. I had to have this Squirtle. I broke out my net and trapped the little bastard! Now that I had him where I wanted him I mercilessly beat him with my great ball until he was captured. I laugh at everyone who wasted there time going to the Trainer School. I didn't have a single day of lessons yet I'm catching pokemon like a champ. Surely I am the Best, like no ever was! Don't worry, I''m not a fan of that soap opera. I just like the opening song.
In my pursuit of Pink I came across a trainer who said he had seen me catch Squirtle and said he would take it off my hands for his super rare Slowpoke! Oh man! Both super, and rare?! I had to make this deal. I will call him Pokey! Goodbye Squirtle, it was fun!
I hopped on my bike I snagged from the neighbor's house (they stole it from me when I was 14, so its cool) and raced on down Cycling Road so I could get caught up with Pink. There she is! Just then I saw Cool Trainer Andrew ♂ (whom appeared to be Cool Biker Trainer Andrew ♂ now), and he challenged Pink to a pokemon battle! In that moment I was overtaken by the sheer awesomeness of the situation and stood up on my bike, leaned back and let out a roar. “He is going to battle on his bike?! EXTREME!”
SMASH! PLOP! SPLOOSH!
I hit the guard rail and went over Cycling Road. I think I passed out because it is much later in the day. I'm still on my bike and Pokey served as a good table while I typed this up on my pokegear. I guess I'll bike through the ocean to the nearest town. I am so fucking cool.
Catch You Later,
Purple Gitimall
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