Fear kept me from leaving the pokemon center. This is exactly what Slendergar wants, me huddled under the Nurse Joy's desk in fear (and she keeps yelling for security, doesn't she know she will only attract the attention of Slendergar?), when if he wanted to use Absorb, Mega Drain, and/or Giga Drain on me he could do it at any time he pleases with no resistance. If I am going to die (?), then I am going to go out fighting. Or at least in view of that guy selling Slowpoke Tails (he asked me if I was a cop, I think he is undercover ad trying to find his friends).
Upon exiting the Pokemon Center, lighting stuck several times around me, clouds tumbled down from the sky forming a vortex around me, and it felt if the Air had been Locked (it doesn't make sense to me either). All of my fear dissipated immediately as a large green dragon ranging within the humongous to fucking giant height range, detailed with circular tribal markings, that makes a noise similar to "MAI PLAZA" descended from the sky. I was afraid though because it was my buddy Rayquaza!
“I am very surprised to see you here Ray Ray!”
“I am too!”
“Woah.”
“Yeah. Hey, I hear I have a cult! Wanna go check it out?”
Instead of answering him, I mounted his face. That’s how I ride him. Through the sky.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeokay we're here.
Blackthorn City, home of the last Gym in Johto (or at least it would be the last if I were to arrange them in a chronological order of how they should be challenged), and also home of the Raycultza, as I assume its called. Rayquaza explained to me that it consisted of a bunch of Dragon Tamers who believed Rayquaza would take them to the moon if they commuted Suicune.
“I don't really understand why they would believe if they managed to get Suicune to move I would take them to the moon. I mean, I CAN take them to the moon, but Suicune literally has nothing to do with me. I mean, it would make a nice girl and all if we Legendaries had genders, but I am approximately 23 feet long and Suicune is just a tad shy of 7 foot. I wouldn;t be able to stick my penis in her, if either of us had reproductive organs. You know what I'm saying.”
“Dude, your like a pokemon and I understand what you are saying.”
“Woah.”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe I should take them up to the moon! It's the least I could do to reward them for being such a good cult.”
So all we have to do is round them up on Rayquaza's back, and then fly them to the moon (maybe swing about the stars on the way back (my editor tells me that stars are actually much farther away than the moon (thanks a lot for ruining my joke (Wait, I don't have an editor))). The perfect plan.
OHMYGOD. OHMYGOD. LOTSODEADGUYS (and girls). Oh it's Trainer Andrew ♂. AHHHHHH. DEADTHINGS. AH, ONE OF THEM IS GETTING UP. I'LL STAB IT.
Oh. Rayquaza informed me that he was just trying to clean up some of the bodies. Oh well, no one will notice an extra body. Uh oh, one noticed it. And by one I mean three. Guess I outta run.
So now I am flying over Johto on Rayquaza, with Clair on her Dragonite and Lance on his Gyarados. I didn't know those things could actually fly. I will spare you some time and just tell you that it was an amazing chase scene that could bankrupt the biggest high-budget movie. Lance was saying something about handing Rayquaza over to them and I think Clair wanted a slab returned (It was hard to hear her over the sound of her silly costume).
…
Rayquaza was hurt trying to escape them (they blamed me when Lance's Gyarados's Hyper Beam hit Ray Ray!) and now we're hiding out in a mountain. It's really silver here.
Catch You Later.
Purple Gitimall
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