Cyan, Day 54: I HAVE DEFEATED MY RIVAL!

Today, I have defeated my rival, Purple Gitimall. Finally, his smug face will no longer mock me as I go through my Pokemon Journey!

I stepped out on the battlefield that day, not knowing who my opponent would be. I had decided to wear my original attire of T-Shirt and Jeans, mainly for the fact that this seems to be the attire heroes wear to events like this.

Watching Purple walk in, I sneered. I yelled that he looked stupid, taking out his hat and showing it to him. He should have never come back to life, he was about to be embarrassed out the Poke-Butt. Releasing Wang Chung, the battle begun and I spun Purple’s hat backwards.

Wang Chung fought valiantly as something Purple referred to SlowKingBro as was released. The Pokemon started to try to reason with me, saying that we could settle this with our words instead of our violence. I thought about it. What if Pokemon were not used to fight? Would our world be better if our dogfights never took place? Are us as a society unethical?

… That’s the biggest bunch of Dragonite Poop I have ever thought of! SlowKingBro paid for making me use the ethical portion of my brain! I commanded Wang Chung use an explosion kick to the face on SlowKingBro and it was so. SlowKingBro’s face exploded on impact and immediately turned into flowers. That was weird.

Magmar was next to come out. I decided to fight fire with bigger fire and let Charizard run loose. The beast was pissed. He thrashed at Magmar, stomping on it several hundred times. The Magmar flattened against the pavement, rainbow coloured blood pouring from his body. Purple began to cry. Little did he know this was the least of his worries.

At last, Weezing emerged, and Purple yelled for Koff Koff to do well. This wasn’t a Koff Koff! This was clearly a Weez Weez! Letting out Dodrio, I screamed at it to destroy. The Dodrio immediately ran past Weez Weez and started to attack Purple, blasting him with fire. Since when did a bird release fire from his mouth. Now, how a bird learned to breathe fire I will never know, but it’s okay.

Purple must be dead, because Weez Weez did nothing but float away. It didn’t matter, I had still won. I ran up, screaming at Purple that I had won, and pulled down my pants and pooped on his throat. I had done it.

ELITE FOUR, MEET CYAN GITORS YOU SEELING SEEL SEELS!

Cyan Gitors

PS: I have a rather large bruise on my chin. Where’d that come from?