Cool Andrew ♂, Day 41: The Man On The Moon

I eventually managed to find the infamous Mt. Moon.  Turned out it was that big pointed thing I previously thought to be a rather odd-shaped tree.  I entered into the belly of the thing and set about searching for my beloved Violet, wherever she might be.

The interior of the mountain was much larger than I previously thought, and I was forced to concoct a means of seeing in the pitch-black darkness of the place.  Since neither Fearow nor Pincer knew Flash, I sought the aid of my rather impressive illicit substance collection to help me in my endeavor.  Pulling the Electizer from my pack, I hooked the thing to my scrotum.  Anticipating the pain it might cause, I took the necessary precaution of snorting a few lines of Slowpoke tail to calm my nerves and stop any hurt that might come from sending a few thousand watts of power to a sensitive area through a car battery covered in tinfoil and painted yellow.

Turning the device on, I found myself with the ability to see every single molecule in the entire world around me.  They buzzed in every solid surface.  Luckily though, this made the process of navigating the dark cave much easier.  Although, as is the double-edged sword of most drugs, I had turned into a Magnemite, and my pokémon callings urged me elsewhere.  Magnemite.

Coming upon a large clearing in the cave, I noticed a sick festival unfolding before my eyes.  Like the pagan orgies of legend, a great host of pink-bodied horrors danced about with an unbound freedom.  Their voices were shrill, and combined to grate at the innards of my brain.  Had I hands with which to scratch out the noise from the inside of my head, I would have done so quickly.  At the center of their tirade rose a great glowing rock, which they seemed to revere with the highest passion.  Approaching one of the little devils, I attempted to use my pokémon speak to ask them about Violet.  Much to my dismay, the creature must have seen that I was merely wearing the disguise of a pokémon, and promptly turned an uncaring back to me.  Magnemite. 

Upon being treated as such by many of the dancing things, a great anger arose in me.  Calling forth from my loins a great power, I unleashed a mighty Thunder Shock.  Bolts of white-lighting came from the top of the cave, bursting into brilliant flashes and erupting upon their gathering with such force that the very ground shook from the might of the blast.  Magnemite.

Seeing that none were damaged by my blast, I realized this type must be immune to electrical attacks.  No matter, I had others in my arsenal.  Magnemite.

…

I did not come out of my coma for what seemed a long time.  Even though my steel shell should have protected me against their blows, they must have figured out a way to get around that.  Luckily, due to the numbing effects of Slowpoke tail, I did not feel a thing.  Pulling myself from the rocky ground, I went forward again, hovering much lower than I had previously.  Magnemite.

Violet must be here somewhere.  Magnemite.

I will find her at any cost.  Magnemite.

Magnemite,
Cool Andrew ♂