Purple, Day 37 and 38: Rockin' Registers Crobatman!

So it turns out this is Pewter City and not Pallet Town playing dress up again. I know this because I asked somebody what town this and they said it was Pewter City (and they refused to change their story even after integration/torture). I figured I should turn around and head back to Pallet Town but then I remembered what that Brock asshole told me about getting badge. I must get that badge! I think I need them or something!

I danced around the town until I found the Gym. I spun into the room and ordered Slowkingbro to Water Psychic Blast the entire Gym. He told me that wasn't an attack and that we were in the museum not the Gym. I told him he was no fun and got Koff Koff to toxic everywhere. On closer inspection, it turned out it really was a museum. Whoops.

Slinking away, I asked for directions to the Gym and some kid said he knew where it was. I lost control of my feet and the boy walked me to the Gym, told me good luck and took off like a Rapidash. Thank Blaine he uses his powers for good. I kicked the door in and challenged Flint to a battle! He yelled from the other side of the room that I would have to talk to him from a square that touched the square he stood in. I started to walk closer but THEN I WAS AMBUSHED THE MOTHERFUCKER GET DOWN, oh its just a pokemon trainer.

He claimed that I was “ten thousand light-years from facing Flint”, to which I responded “Nuh-UH!” and punched him in the face. I challenged Flint once more and this time he complied. He sent out a Geodude. It didn't feel very powerful but it may be a trap to lull me into a false sense of security. I sent out Garfunkel because fire beats rock. I know this because fire is really hot, which makes it super effective against EVERYTHING. The Geodude did the whole “fainting” thing after melting a little so I must be correct in my assumption. He then whipped out his Onyx and I figured shit was about to get serious, this thing looked tough. So I had Garfunkel use SUPER FIRE BLAST. It looked confused for a second, shrugged its shoulders and blasted the rock snake with its Fiery girth. I had won!

I stuck my hand out and demanded my badge. Flint gave me a puzzled look and said he couldn't give me one because I wasn't a registered pokemon trainer. Oh yeah, that's what I was doing. I told him to hold his ass and made my sprint for Pallet Town. As I was running through Viridian Forest some yellow thing jumped on my face and I was like, “ARCEUSBLAINEWHATDAFUCKINGFUCKHOLYSHIT” and jammed a pokeball in my face to capture the little face-hugger. When I escaped the forest I checked the pokeball. Turns out the little bastard was a Pikachu (Im gonna name it Missile!). I guess I overreacted, I should tone it down a little. So I put on my jet-pack and flew to Pallet Town.

I awoke with my pants gone in-front of Oak's Lab. I don't think that was a jet-pack at all. I walked into his lab and asked for him to register me. He handed me a pokedex, entered my name and some other information into the computer, and then had me give him a thumbprint. I put my thumb down and waited for it to take my DNA away from me. The computer clicked, saying that I was now registered. My entire being shook and then 4 pokeballs flew off my belt and out of my bag (dislocating my arm). Oak then informed me that I could only hold 6 pokemon. Blainedammit I should never have gotten registered.

Catch You Later.

Purple Gitimall